Love people (heavy on the sarcasm)....

This is a copy of a conversation that took place at the "Blue Crab"at a very inconvenient time - just so you know. Guest: "We do not have an bread and I have already been here and been seated for 7 minutes." (in my head I am thinking 7 minutes? really.) Out loud response: "I apologize about that sir, our oven is currently not working and so it is taking a little longer to get bread out. I have a very expensive service technician here working on it as we speak." Guest: "Do you know how much money I have spent here? $130.42 in the last month and we don't ever get bread." (in my head: seriously. $130.42? running tab? consecutive visits? never get bread? why do you come back?) Out loud: " Sir, I apologize that you are not getting bread at this minute - I am glad that you are a returning guest who enjoys a dining experience here." Guest: "Why can't you hire people and get bread out? There's a photo of fire on the menu why don't you cook it that way?" Out loud: " Sir, clearly it is our desire to get bread for you (not mine) and it is not a staffing issue, we have someone here to make bread (who I am going to have make a special piece for you) and sir that is a photo of a grill and it would give your bread an oak flavor." Guest: " I should have gone to Long John Silver's. (In my head: but you wouldn't have gotten bread their either but they do have hush puppies." And it went like that. And I bought his appetizer, a dessert and he still called corporate. P.S. And he did get bread. At approximately 21 minutes into his dining experience. He did not eat the bread.

Cleared for landing....

I am feeling better! I've been cleared to go back to work. (And in true Kelly fashion, I signed up for extra shifts and will probably overdo it) -( way to have boundaries! ) I had a hard time not seeing people (except for my doctor which does not count) My staff was actually glad to see me - which made me feel better ( don't worry - that's back to normal - I fired one of the favorite people that have been there forever - because he's a crack head - not an opinion it's fact so they are totally back to hating - missed all that negative energy) Anyways, there is a life lesson to be learned. (It's one that I know but don't want to accept - it's super logical too - won't go there.) I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN! ( do look nice in the boots and cape - not the point) I can't do it all, can't fix everything, and there are some things that I cannot change and cannot control. (Even now - tears!!!!) I hate this lesson most of all.

I do not have time to be sick....

So I have pneumonia , not really a good time for it. I'm the girl who still shows up at work on time rain, sleet or hail. I've had to call out of work for the rest of the week. Let me be honest, I was going to go in anyways but my boss called my doctor and they decided that I should take the rest of the week off. It's nice how connected everyone is in West Texas. (sarcasm) I am currently resting b/c I have no choice. My body will not allow me to do anything else. I feel like we are fighting - my body and me. I want to be busy and it's not going for that. I washed my sheets today (to get all the germ particles off) and it wore me out. I had to take like a four hour nap after wards. I'm sure there is a life lesson in all this, maybe when I'm done being mad about being sick then I can figure it out.

Help desk....not so helpful

So I just spent 59 minutes and 42 seconds of my life on the phone with the help desk for my printer. Here's kinda how it went and several of the questions that I got asked: Them:Did you plug it in? Me: Yes. Them: Did you turn it on? Me: Are you serious? Them: Did you plug the cord into a power source? Me: As opposed to what? Them: Are you sure it's on? Me: Really? Them: Did you press the "on" button? Me: I hate you. Them: Let's not make this personal, are their words on the screen? this would indicate that the power is working. Me: Is their anyone else their but you? or are you all like this?

I'm taking a day off....

I am taking a real day off sports fans! I've gone in on every day off that I've had since I started working here. I did not go into work on my day off when I had the flu but it was b/c I felt like death and wanted to die in my own bed, so I don't think that counts. I have three consecutive days off in a row and I am going home! (3 whole days here in WT also known as Satan's home - only to me - is a long time) so I will take to the road and travel. (And it's my birthday and I don't feel old enough to be okay with spending it alone) So I actually tried to prepare my crew and fellow workers to allow me to take a day off. I got a call last week b/c my boss could not find a pen, ten minutes later he called b/c he needed a paperclip, 16 minutes later he wanted to know where a form on the computer was......you get the point. After 7 calls in an hour, I was hostile. Granted, I did rearrange an office that none of them have touched for 6 years but seriously.... I made psycho notes. I left a list of where all the supplies are, I printed off what forms they needed, I made snacks for the Sunday meltdown (occurs every Sunday after the mainstream church crowd leaves and the sinners come to eat b/c they slept through church- these crowds do not mix when dining b/c there's a lot of judging) anyways I left a preemptive meltdown management (and possible postponement) snack b/c I wont be there to deal with the drama and sugar helps. Happy Birthday to me .....I hope my does not ring.....

Cried at work .....

I did. And once I started I could not stop. I even snotted on my boss. He was cool about it. I just reached my limit. I got tired b/c I worked 6 12 hour days in a row, still recovering from the flu, failed our audit, ran out of crab cakes, had a freakishly bad hair day, ignored by my employees and I don't even know what else. It just added up! I've been working like crazy and my other manager's have some ingrained behaviors that are detrimental to what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm firing everyone. If only it were that easy. I really need to keep praying for them. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to do when you really don't like them. I guess mean people need Jesus too.

The battle for middle earth begins

Dear friends and readers, I have the flu. Keep in mind that I am coming from a tired, medicated flu like state where taking my gun to work seems like a good idea. I have the flu and no time to rest so Yes, NyQuil is my new best friend. Okay so the battle for middle earth (also known as the blue crab) begins. Do you remember that line from Lord of the Rings 2? Very profound and very accurate to my work environment. I'm about to fire everyone. I feel like taking my shoes off - letting my feet get big and hairy and making a speech with a sword in my hand. Something rousing like "do this, this and this or someone is going to lose their head." Figuratively of course. I'm going to fire them all. Ever read the art of war? someone is going down to make a point. It's gotta be done.