Cried at work .....

I did. And once I started I could not stop. I even snotted on my boss. He was cool about it. I just reached my limit. I got tired b/c I worked 6 12 hour days in a row, still recovering from the flu, failed our audit, ran out of crab cakes, had a freakishly bad hair day, ignored by my employees and I don't even know what else. It just added up! I've been working like crazy and my other manager's have some ingrained behaviors that are detrimental to what I'm trying to accomplish. I'm firing everyone. If only it were that easy. I really need to keep praying for them. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to do when you really don't like them. I guess mean people need Jesus too.

The battle for middle earth begins

Dear friends and readers, I have the flu. Keep in mind that I am coming from a tired, medicated flu like state where taking my gun to work seems like a good idea. I have the flu and no time to rest so Yes, NyQuil is my new best friend. Okay so the battle for middle earth (also known as the blue crab) begins. Do you remember that line from Lord of the Rings 2? Very profound and very accurate to my work environment. I'm about to fire everyone. I feel like taking my shoes off - letting my feet get big and hairy and making a speech with a sword in my hand. Something rousing like "do this, this and this or someone is going to lose their head." Figuratively of course. I'm going to fire them all. Ever read the art of war? someone is going down to make a point. It's gotta be done.

So I'm a hunter....

Not really. I didn't actually kill anything. I held something dead though. I went out to some land, with dogs and guns. I didn't actually shoot anything either. I did hold a gun. And I drank some gateraide (hunter's drink of choice - just kidding don't really know), and I petted the dogs. I was totally fine until I saw a snake skin. I didn't realize until later that I was wearing gater guards which are made by Nasa to protect you from snake bites. I thought they were for stickers.

8 bottles of bleach on the wall...

The plumbing went out. That does not describe adequately the situation at the blue crab. It smelled like Satan's bottom and I was inches deep in facilitation matter. I did not cover that in my training. I missed the "what to do with poop and lots of people who need too... 101" and more importantly the follow up class "what to do with people who get angry b/c they can't....". And furthermore how to deal with my staff who are hungry, need a smoke, and cannot go to the bathroom. They love me. Best boss ever! At this point they are probably getting me a gift - with a bow. It was such a good night. Words cannot describe....

So work is good....

So work is good...... I mean my boss took away my employees smoke breaks and their right to ring in meals like whenever. Clearly, if they were not taking smoke breaks when we were on a 40 minute wait, wouldn't be an issue. And furthermore, if they did not think that 6:30 on a Friday night was a "good" time to eat a meal prepared in our establishment, they would still have that privilege. And logically, they do not see it like that. I will probably go to the bathroom and get shanked, just like prison.
I'm thinking of selling smoke breaks on the side, little extra cash. For example, hey johnny if you get our guest some ranch dressing and quit offering cheese with every potatoe (it's apparently expensive- cows on strike- somehow relates to the middle east) I will let you have a cigarette.....I'm still getting shanked, just like prison. I should start smoking so that I smell like smoke and they will want one but can't have one.
I hired a bunch of new staff members. Pretty much if you can pass our test and you are breathing. Hired. I have very high standards.

I'm 85...for real

So had my second official day off (keep in mind I skipped my last one due to being an overachiever and going in to work - the Martha Stewart in me never dies) and I just finished a stint of 3 12 hour days. If you would have asked me what I wore yesterday, could not tell you but if you asked me who sat at table 76 and what did they order? Seafood plate with mashed potatoes on the side and their dog eats lettuce. I'm that good or that weird. Anyways, I drank tea, did laundry, and played some games on the computer and recolor coded my closet. I got busy so their was a shirt out of place. How old am I? Seriously... If I start bringing ma chrome (sp?) back, somebody who loves me had better call it. I wouldn't go out too far today b/c their was storm warning on t.v. and I wasn't sure if it was my county or not. And again, their is nothing out here. If it floods, their is not a tree to hang on too. Tornado? It will see you, their is nothing to hide behind.
This place is so backwards. Kelly Clarkson just won american idol here. Just last week. Her song Breakaway just came out here along with Rod Stewarts new hit "Have I told you lately." It's so 1982 here. Wait till you visit, I am taking you to the mall. Not gonna tell you anything else b/c I want you to be surprised when they are still selling plaid.

My first day off ...kinda wierd

So on my first official day off I didn't want to lay around too much even though I work all weekend. So I went for a walk at the local funeral/memorial burial grounds. I thought it was a park, very nice grass. Clearly when I got up close I realized where I was. I walked anyways. It was quiet.
My second stop was at a local bank opening. I have no plans on becoming a member there but they had free food so I checked it out. I had a really good hot dog! They also had balloons and face painting. Got both!