So work is good...... I mean my boss took away my employees smoke breaks and their right to ring in meals like whenever. Clearly, if they were not taking smoke breaks when we were on a 40 minute wait, wouldn't be an issue. And furthermore, if they did not think that 6:30 on a Friday night was a "good" time to eat a meal prepared in our establishment, they would still have that privilege. And logically, they do not see it like that. I will probably go to the bathroom and get shanked, just like prison.
I'm thinking of selling smoke breaks on the side, little extra cash. For example, hey johnny if you get our guest some ranch dressing and quit offering cheese with every potatoe (it's apparently expensive- cows on strike- somehow relates to the middle east) I will let you have a cigarette.....I'm still getting shanked, just like prison. I should start smoking so that I smell like smoke and they will want one but can't have one.
I hired a bunch of new staff members. Pretty much if you can pass our test and you are breathing. Hired. I have very high standards.
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6 comments:
I think you're in the wrong profession. You need to be writing for SNL. You'd be a smash hit! Have you been taking lessons from JRR?
Hey Kelly~ I told you your sense of humor would shine in blogworld! JRR is so proud! Not that he had anything to do with. Your gift is your own and a blessing to the world!
For Inspired~ Wife of JRR here. I'm with all his blogging friends; I'd love for his dark political humor to return to his blog. I'm afraid the increase of blue on the electoral map each day has zapped his fun, creative spirit. I'll be praying for its return!
Hi Kelly.
It's your pal Dan. Let them smoke 15 minutes before the rush and 15 minutes after the rush. You determine when the rush begins and ends. Tell them you want them to have a smoke. Tell them smoking is the biggest fucking-king-shit-thing you've ever seen them do.
But god help you if you take away the smoke breaks.
Peace:)
Dan
What about gum? Pass out an alternative. Or would chewing be worse?? Which habit would you prefer? The lesser of two evils I suppose.
Did you do the monthly birthday calendar yet? I'm sure one of your cakes would "butter them up". You could possibly apply this same method to not smoking. The healthy lung calendar for example. Show how much more air capacity they saved themselves this month by not taking the hourly puff.
You are too funny!
I'm home - call me when you can!
could be worse, you could be checking rectal thermometers.
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